


Rampant Rulebreaker

by ilokheimsins



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:49:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3966754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilokheimsins/pseuds/ilokheimsins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's given on up on getting Harry to stick to the rules, so he gambles against the other Kingsmen on which one Harry will break next.  He has a notebook and everything.  Until Eggsy Unwin shows up and Harry starts breaking rules for a whole new reason.</p><p>Or.</p><p>The 5 times Merlin wished he still had hair to rip out and the 2 times he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rampant Rulebreaker

**Author's Note:**

> I just love the idea of Merlin accepting that Harry breaks rules all the time except now he's breaking rules because of a pretty face and just goddammit Harry.
> 
> Also I am debating whether or not I should be ashamed that I finished everything I could read in the Hartwin tag in under 36 hours and automatically moved to the Harry/Eggsy/Merlin tag.
> 
> I tried to make this a 5+1 but apparently I break rules too.

It’s not like Merlin isn’t familiar with the fact that Harry breaks rules.  The man is late to literally everything, for chrissakes.  Merlin’s gotten used to it over their thirty years of friendship.  It’s gotten to the point where Merlin starts writing down every incident of rule breaking and categorizing them.  He even bets with the other knights on what Harry will break next.

But this, this is a whole new level of rule breaking that makes Merlin wish he had hair just to pull it out.

And the very crux of it all is Eggsy Unwin.

+1

“Shoot the lad with the damn dart,” Merlin hisses into the comm.

It’s not that he can’t see what Harry’s seeing.  He most definitely can.  He can definitely see the way Eggsy licks his lips and then doesn’t close his damned mouth.  Merlin can definitely see the way his eyes are bright and pleading.

“You’ve never fallen for a pretty face before, don’t do it, Galahad, don’t fucking, goddammit.”

He watches Harry’s arm lower and he swears into the comm.

“Stop breaking the rules, Harry.”

There’s an imperceptible up and down twitch that signifies Harry nodding.  And yet he still doesn’t shoot Eggsy with the amnesia dart.

“At least put a tracker on the lad,” Merlin sighs.

Another twitch and he sees Harry palm a two way audio tracker into his hand before clasping Eggsy on the shoulder.

“I still don’t see why you didn’t just shoot him,” Merlin grumbles.

His only answer is Harry flipping him off through the glasses.

+2

The next time there’s an incident of rule breaking that involves Eggsy, Harry doesn’t even have the decency to be awake.  No, the man’s lying half-comatose on a bed in medical and Merlin is here trying to hack Harry’s encrypted drive.

It’s strange because Harry’s never had any sort of encryption like this in the thirty years they’ve known each other.  And it’s making Merlin curious.

When he finally breaks through the last wall, there’s only one folder that looks anything but mundane.  The rest are things like “electricity bills” and “tea brands”.  The folder Merlin chooses to click on is called “Eggsy”.  He sighs as he clicks on it because he really needs to talk to Harry about naming his stuff more securely.

There’s three videos in the folder and Merlin clicks on the first, which pops up on his second screen.  The screen shows Eggsy, biting his lip and giving the camera bedroom eyes, seated against a background that Merlin recognizes as the inside of the train from the shop to the estate.

“How long we go’?” Eggsy asks.

“Approximately thirty minutes,” Harry replies.

“So I go’ time to ge’ off, then?”

Merlin’s stomach drops to the floor and he prays for Harry to say no.  But, wonder of wonders (in the most sarcastic sense, Merlin thinks), Harry doesn’t say anything, merely inclines his head.  That little motion sends Eggsy into a quick slide of movement.  He slips down further in his seat, spreading his legs even wider, and unzips his trousers to palm himself.

“Fuckin’ Christ, you’re so fuckin’ fit,” Eggsy says as he strokes, “Fuckin’ takin’ Dean’s men down like you was playin’ around.”

At the very periphery of the camera, Merlin can see the shift of Harry’s legs as he crosses one over the other.

“Was gonna ask you to fuck me,” Eggsy pants out, “Was gonna ask if you had any lube and rubbers cause a gentleman is always prepared and was gonna have you fuck me in the backroom.”

Merlin shuts the video and prays that the other video isn’t more of the same.  It is and it isn’t.

It isn’t in the sense that it’s not four minutes of Eggsy babbling filthy things while wanking.  It is in the sense that they’re still in the train and Eggsy’s cock is still in view some of the time.  But this time, Merlin’s treated to hearty moaning and little “fuck yeah” whimpers coming from Eggsy.  It takes a second for Merlin to actually figure out what’s happening but then Harry glances down and the familiar motion of hips moving up and down clues him in immediately.

“This,” Merlin says through gritted teeth as he closes the video, “Is what you fucking had encrypted?”

Thankfully enough, the third video is the actual footage that he’s looking for, even if it is damaged.

And if Merlin loads the first two videos into his own private storage, well, Harry did say once that Merlin could take whatever he wanted from his files.  Besides, the lad’s attractive and Merlin isn’t blind.

+3

Harry’s actually awake for the next incident.  Unfortunately, Merlin has to wait for Eggsy to leave before he can reprimand Harry.  It doesn’t set a good example for the wee ones when their mentors are berated in front of them.  So he holds it in even when Eggsy grabs his clipboard and then again when Harry so very rudely grabs it right after (so un-gentlemanly, Merlin thinks spitefully).

Merlin waits for the door to close before he turns to Harry.

“You can’t let the lad stay just because his mouth is pretty,” Merlin says.

Harry only looks mildly offended, more amused than anything else.

“It was a good learning experience,” He says calmly.

“Yes, for a Kingsman,” Merlin emphasizes the last word, “Which, if I may remind you, Eggsy is not.”

Harry hums noncommittally and goes back to patting aftershave on his face.  Merlin throws his hands in the air because Harry is being ridiculous and leaves him to his aftershave.

“You should try to break the rules sometime,” Harry calls out as Merlin opens the door, “It’s nice not to be so stodgy all the time.”

“Not everyone has your disregard for guidelines, Galahad,” Merlin quips back just before the door swings shut behind him.

+4, +5

“You can’t make him a suit,” Merlin mutters, resignation more evident in his voice than anything else.

Predictably, Harry ignores him.

“Sir, a gentleman is getting fitted in dressing room one.  However, dressing room two is available,” Daniel says, calm as ever.  He gives Eggsy a warm smile and Merlin sees Eggsy smile back reflexively.

“One does not pop one’s cherry in dressing room two,” Harry says.

“Yeah, like that’s what you have to worry about.  His cherry’s been popped,” Merlin says.

Harry coughs and stumbles a step at that.

“Speaking of that, we’re going to have a discussion about the way you name your folders,” Merlin continues.

“Perhaps I shall show you dressing room three,” Harry continues as if his friend of thirty years isn’t talking in his ear.

“So does this go up or down?” Eggsy’s practically bouncing as he shoves himself into the small room after Harry.

“How about both?  He certainly seemed to have the thighs for it,” Merlin snips.

Harry clears his throat and somehow manages to say, “Neither, pull that lever,” without sounding like a strangled cat.

“You’re not supposed to show him this.  He’s not a Kingsman yet.”

Damn Harry, he’s even got Merlin tacking on the “yet” at the end of the sentence now.  Harry continues to deny Merlin’s existence.

“What’s this then?” Eggsy points to the lighters, “This electrocute someone then?”

“No, that would be the signet rings,” Harry says, “Those are grenades.”

“Shu’ up,” Eggsy’s mouth drops and Merlin wishes so very desperately that he didn’t see the appeal in Eggsy’s mouth parted like that.

He watches as Harry walks Eggsy through the Oxfords and Brogues, giving a fond chuckle at Eggsy’s German impression, and the poison pen.

“Put it back.”

“Put what back?”

“Eggsy got a bit light fingered with the grenades,” Harry explains.

“Ah.  You do know this is why we don’t show the recruits dressing room three before they’re Kingsman.”

Harry doesn’t reply and Merlin just mutters darkly about how senior agents should do better than to fall for a pretty face.

+0

Harry calmly strides into the dining room like nothing’s wrong and Merlin gapes from where he’s seated in Arthur’s chair.  The rest of the Kingsmen have similar looks on their faces, all except Eggsy, who’s cycling through fury and surprise.  They all watch as Harry settles himself into Leon’s seat, next to Eggsy in Galahad’s chair, and make himself comfortable.

“What have I missed?”

No one does anything for a second and then Eggsy punches Harry in the face and Merlin can’t even bring himself to say anything on the rule about physical disputes between Kingsmen.  Mostly because he’s sure that if Harry had sat down next to him, he’d punch Harry in the face too.

Eggsy’s standing and shouting as Harry delicately checks his face to make sure nothing’s broken.  His South London accent gets thicker the more agitated he gets and Merlin clearly recognizes the point where he only understands half of what Eggsy’s actually saying.  It takes him a moment more to realize this is because Eggsy is crying and shouting at the same time.

Harry stands and pulls Eggsy into a hug, uncaring of the way Eggsy’s tears are slowly creating a damp patch across the front of his suit.  The rest of the knights excuse themselves; they have other duties to attend to now that Harry is apparently not actually dead.  Roxy is the last to leave and she rubs a soothing hand down Eggsy’s back as she passes by.

Eventually, Harry coaxes Eggsy into sitting on his lap.  The sobbing dies down into sniffles that turn into hiccups when Eggsy’s cried too much and Harry and Merlin wait it all out.

Once Eggsy drinks enough water to counteract the hiccups and is sitting in his own seat again, Merlin very primly requests, “Punch him again for me.”

Eggsy obliges with a cheeky grin, this time avoiding the face, and Harry doesn’t even bother looking surprised.

+1

“Somehow, I remember a rule about sex on Kingsman premises,” Harry’s amusement is thick in his voice.

“This is all your fault you know,” Merlin pants out, carding a hand through coiffed blonde hair, “Next thing you know I’m going to be just as bad a rule breaker as you and the lad.”

Eggsy pulls off Merlin’s cock with an indignant noise and sits back on his heels.

“’Ey, I ain’t that bad,” He protests.

Merlin looks down at the lad, noting how his mouth is even more pink than usual and how it’s still fucking open, and raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Really,” He says dryly, “So your impetus to continue Galahad’s tradition of being perpetually late isn’t bad.”

Eggsy flashes him a cocky smile before nuzzling at Merlin’s thigh, his eyes bright and trained firmly on Merlin’s face.  Harry moves in a step closer to pet Eggsy’s head and to rest a hand on the back of Merlin’s neck.

“Nah, bruv, ain’t that bad,” Eggsy says, “Gotta keep up traditions and all.”

He licks a stripe up Merlin’s cock and for a moment, that stalls whatever Merlin was about to say.  But he gathers his wits again (after all, it wouldn’t do to lose to a twenty five year old in a game of stamina and sex techniques) and continues.

“Or the time you jumped out the window after expressly being told not to.”

“That one wasn’t a rule,” Harry points out.

“Or the sex in the office.”

“At leas’ this time you’re a par’ of i’, yeah?” Eggsy envelops the head of Merlin’s cock in his mouth and any remaining protests Merlin has are muffled when Harry meets his mouth in a kiss.

Later, after Eggsy has proven that although he may not last the longest, he can certainly have the most orgasms, they’re sprawled out on the couch in Merlin’s office.  He and Harry are wedged against one another with Eggsy, snoozing away, draped over them.

“Rule breaking isn’t always bad,” Harry says quietly.  He’s still petting Eggsy’s head and Merlin can’t fault him for it; after all, he’s doing the same.

“I’ll have you know I just lost a bet on which rule you would break next,” Merlin whispers back.

“You bet on which rules I break?”

“Of course I do.  I don’t have hair to pull.  I need to do something when you insist on adhering to your own flighty guidelines.”

Harry is quiet for a beat and then, “Who’d you lose to?”

“Percival put money on sex in the office, as did Bors and Elyan.  Gawain and the rest were convinced you’d be late again.”

“And your bet?”

“You not leaving the office for more than 24 hours.”

Harry has the gall to look offended.

“Oh, come off it, you’re a workaholic and you know it,” Merlin scoffs.

“Hmm.”

Eggsy murmurs nonsensically at that moment and tries to burrow deeper into Merlin’s chest, frowning slightly when he can’t.

“I prom’se, flower, this ain’ ‘ow pillows work.”

Merlin and Harry both look down at Eggsy in confusion, but all the younger man does is sigh and stop squirming.  They’re silent for a bit longer, enjoying the way Eggsy radiates heat like a small furnace, before Harry speaks again.

“I do hope you realize that now that I know you gamble on my rule breaking, I’d like a portion of the profits.”

“And why is that?”

“You never know,” Harry presses a fond kiss to the curve of Merlin’s shoulder, “I may be more inclined to break rules you’ve bet on.”

“Throw the bet?  I would never,” Merlin affects a scandalized gasp.

“Of course you would.  You’re just as much a rule breaker as I am.  You just break a different set of rules.”

“Half, then,” Merlin acquiesces.

He feels more than sees Harry nod in agreement and he runs his free hand through the ends of Harry’s hair.  Harry tucks his chin over Merlin’s shoulder and Merlin closes his eyes, sleep calling to him.  Just as he’s about to doze off, Harry comments, “You should probably start a pool for Eggsy as well.”

“Mmm?”

“He’s going to be a rule breaker, too.”


End file.
